A Transformative Habit

What if a piece of furniture could be the key to transforming your life?

And the lives of everyone in your house?

Not your bed (you wish).

Certainly not your couch (obviously).

Not your nightstand or your dresser.

Your table.

Just a piece of wood with four legs attached to it—can work wonders in your life and family.

There’s something called a keystone habit. It’s a habit that triggers a domino effect of positive change in various areas of one’s life. Regularly eating dinner as a family around a table is considered a keystone habit. The dominoes that follow this habit are so appealing it’s hard to believe.

Eating dinner together on a regular basis…

Reduces stress in working parents.
Increases emotional well-being and overall life satisfaction.
Strengthens the marriage bond and increases family cohesion.
Lowers rates of obesity and chronic illness.
Reduces rates of anxiety and depression.
Kids get better grades, are physically and socially healthier, and significantly less likely to experiment with alcohol or drugs.

Hard to believe that just sitting down at a table and eating together can have such a massive impact. But this isn’t just sentimental advice from your grandma longing for a return to the good ol’ days that never really existed. This is backed by scientists and sociologists.

Now to clarify—if the TV is blaring or phones are in faces the effect is negated. And “regular” is defined as around 5 times a week. The optimal length is around a half hour. So, this does require some intentionality on our part. As with anything in life, you will get out of this what you put into it.

If this sounds daunting…let me add one more massive incentive (at the risk of sounding like an infomercial “But wait, there’s more!”) What if the positive effects aren’t just physical, emotional, or social? What if the effects go even deeper—like soul-level deep?

There are no commands about eating together in the Bible. That’s because eating together regularly at a table was assumed. The readers back then didn’t need told to do so. That would be the equivalent of someone telling you to charge your phone or put gas in your car. You don’t need told to do those things.

What we do see in the Bible is a deep connectedness to God and others that included a rhythm of sharing meals together. Matthew 11:19 says, “The Son of Man (Jesus) came eating and drinking”. Not on a white horse. Not with legions of angels. Jesus came and found the simplest way to connect with others to build His kingdom—at a table.

The Roman emperor Julian’s main concern about Christians was that they would take over his empire not through strength of arms or a clandestine rebellion…but through hospitality. Christianity spread one meal at a time. The most effective weapon of building God’s kingdom and pushing back darkness was not a sword or spear, but a table.

What if, for 30 minutes, five times a week, you didn’t just eat together as a family, but you leaned into a spiritual focus while doing it?

Think of the built-in opportunities.

You can model the love, patience, kindness and the other fruit of the spirit for your children (because you’ll have slowed down enough to show them). You can till gratitude into the soil of your family (by expressing your own gratitude and encouraging them too as well). You can have teaching moments pop up organically in a conversational way (not the lecturing way you normally do). You can pray together, even if it’s just briefly before the meal (what could that turn into?). You can have richer, more meaningful conversations that will enable you to know each other on a deeper level. And it won’t just be you pouring into your kids. I have been moved to tears by a 4-year-olds prayer before dinner. My kids have encouraged me and drawn me to want to be a better and more godly man.

A table. Just a piece of wood with four legs.

Or…transformative, spiritual-life altering, keystone habit that could improve every aspect of your life.